Living Hell
by Terastar
Summary: Takes place after Mass Effect 2.


Living Hell

My story takes place in the Mass Effect Universe created by BioWare. My Commander Shepard blew up the Collectors Base and told The Illusive Man to take a hike. My Commander Shepard then returned through the Omega 4 relay and has now finished The Lair of the Shadow Broker.

My Commander Shepard is a Female/Paragon/Spacer/War Hero/Soldier.

Commander Shepard's Living Hell:

Commander Shepard enters the Shadow Brokers hideout.

Shepard seeks out Liara the new Shadow Broker "Liara, I wish to thank you for allowing me the use of your place and resources. The SR 2 Normandy is patched up. She has also been debugged and repainted. The crew members that have wished to remain in the employ of the Illusive man has been shuttled to Omega."

Liara walks over toward Shepard "What are your plans now Shepard? Is there anything more I can do to help you? "

Shepard begins to pace around. Liara notices that Shepard is looking very strange a mixture of hurt and anger and is that fear and hopelessness that she is also seeing? "Oh Liara... who am I fooling? Right now I feel so lost and so alone. I know I should be on top of the world! The Collectors have been stopped and the Reapers have been dealt a major blow. Even all of my crew has decided to stay or will be available at a moment's notice to help when I call for their aid. So why do I feel like this?" Shepard is still pacing the floor as she continues talking.

"Zaeed has left to find and kill Vido, then Zaeed will be ready with the Blue Suns any time I need them.

Mordin and Grunt are going to Tuchanka. Grunt wants to look into the breeding program and Mordin wants to check out the Krogan's fertility problem. Then Mordin will go to Omega to check out the clinic. Grunt is talking about taking over the Blood Pack so I will have them when needed for battle. Wrex will come with the Krogan's that he has united. Mordin will also be checking into the Salarian's and his old STG contacts. Both will return anytime I call them.

Funniest of all is Tali and Legion are going to the Migrant fleet together. Can you believe that? They feel that peace can be worked out between the Quarian's and the Geth. When this peace is worked out then both the Quarian's and the Geth will be ready to stand beside me for the final fight against the Reapers.

Thane will be going to the Citadel to spend time with his son before he dies. He has said he may be able to help get me onto his home world to find out more about the Elkinders and help me recruit more Drell assassins.

I talked Garrus into taking some time to go see his Mother and Daughter. Then he will be checking out C-Sec and his Turian agent friends. He will gather as much help as he can from them.

Samara , Jack, Kisumi, Joker , Doctor Chakwas, Miranda and Jacob all plan on staying with me aboard the Normandy helping me in whatever way they can. Then I have you my dear friend and Shadow Broker. So why do I feel so alone?"

Shepard has been pacing around back and forth the whole time like a caged and wounded animal. Liara walks over to Shepard and holds her hands. "Shepard, I know you and something is really bothering you. You know that you can trust me to always be here for you. You can tell me what it is that is bothering you."

Shepard stopping her pacing takes a deep breath "But that is the problem don't you see? I don't know what to do next. Everyone is counting on the GREAT Commander Shepard to keep saving the Universe and I don't know what to do? I always thought helping everyone and trying to do right was the way to go and everyone would help me and everything would be alright. But look around... The Reapers are still coming and no one believes me! Some people even think I have betrayed them or that I must be some sort of monster . The Illusive Man wants to kill me along with a whole lot of others. I am tired and I am hurting inside. I just want an end to this Living Hell that I have found myself in."

Shepard starts to pace again. " As soon as I get back on the grid the Alliance or the Illusive Man will be after us or someone else will be. I even turned over copies of everything I found to the Alliance but I haven't even heard a peep from them, and then Kaidan ..."

Shepard stops pacing and turns away from Liara unable to face her friend. Shepard takes a deep breath. Liara moves quickly in front of Shepard looking into Shepard's eyes seeing so much hurt in her eyes. Shepard quickly looking down continues "Kaidan hurt me when we last seen each other on Horizon. Oh, I understand where he was coming from and I hold no grudges .I understand him not really believing I was dead. Everyone knows that dead is dead and you cannot come back someone back to life. Believe me I still have a hard time wrapping my head around this idea and it happened to me. I would be furious with him if I thought he went undercover and did not contact me for two years knowing I would be thinking he was dead the whole time. I understand when he seen me with Cerberus operatives that he felt betrayed and thought the whole time I was alive and with them. But... he wouldn't even give me a chance to explain anything. It was two years for him, but for me ...it was just the next day for me." Shepard looking up into the eyes of Liara "How can I not understand and forgive him? I still love him."

Shepard turns around and starts pacing again. Shepard finally stops and takes a deep breath and turns to face Liara once again," When I woke up in the Cerberus facility we were under attack. I wasn't even healed! Miranda's voice came over the intercom and told me were to go. I then meet Jacob and later Wilson. Miranda caught up to us and shot and killed Wilson because he had sold out the Illusive Man. Wilson was trying to kill me!" Shepard shakes her head trying to understand someone trying to kill her when they had just spent two years of their life trying to bring her back to life. Shepard then thinks to ask Liara a question." Would you like a copy of the Lazarus Project files? I still have all of the files I had collected about the Lazarus Project and anything else I could find while fighting my way out from that Cerberus facility. I will download a copy for you of all of the files." Liara then thanks Shepard for this information. "I am sure that this information my come in handy at sometime in the future. Thank you for trusting me with this information Shepard. "

After downloading the files Shepard then continues telling Liara her story.

"Miranda, Jacob and I then left that Cerberus facility in a shuttle and headed to see the Illusive Man. With no one shooting at me I started asking about my crew and where was Kaidan? Jacob and Miranda informed me that everyone had moved on and they were not too sure where anyone was at and I had been dead for two years! When we arrived at the new Cerberus station I asked again about my old crew and Kaidan when I saw the Illusive Man. He claimed he didn't know anything about Kaidan or the crew but I now know he was lying to me then after I confronted him after meeting Kaidan on Horizon. He knew far more than he let on about a lot of things. I hated him, I hated Cerberus, but... I was all alone.

The Illusive Man claimed that during the two years I was dead that Human colonies were being taken and he wanted me to help find out why? I told him that sounded like something that the Council should be looking into. The Illusive Man told me to go ahead and talk to the Council and even the Alliance. He would wait. "

Liara sensing that even more hurt was to come from Shepards' story walks over to the setting area and pours herself and Shepard a drink. Shepard is thankful that Liara is giving her some time for her to collect her thoughts before she continues her story. After taking a seat and drinking the drink that Liara has poured for her Shepard goes on with her story.

"My first stop was to see Councilor Anderson. I just knew he would welcome me back and I knew he would be able to tell me where Kaidan was. I was really in high spirits! I had this new ship the SSR 2 Normandy she was even better than the old Normandy. Joker was on board as my pilot. The Illusive Man would be so mad when I turn this over to the Alliance and the Council. Boy, was I ever so wrong about everything.

Councilor Anderson would not tell me anything because I was known to be working for Cerberus. The Council did give me back my Spectre status but I was told to stay out in the Terminus System. You see, The Illusive Man during the two years I was dead was already letting it leak out that I was working for him! I will kill him one of these days for that! That is why Kaidan thinks that I had betrayed him by not letting him know I was alive and thinking that I was working for Creberus the whole time. I swear I will kill the Illusive man! "

Shepard stops talking and takes a drink then looks into Liara's eyes. "But what was I to do about the Reapers what about the missing Colonists? My only option is to do the one thing that made me sick at my stomach and that was for me to work with Cerberus for the time being. After we blew up the Collectors base and then me telling the Illusive Man to take a hike I am free. Wanted dead by many but free. "

Liara gets up and walks over to Shepard and gives her a hug telling her that everything will work out. "I believe in you Shepard I know you will find a way to stop the Reaper's. You have gathered many friends that will be there for you whenever you call for them to come to fight the Reapers. As the new Shadow Broker I will be supplying you with any information that I find that will aid you in this fight."

Jokers voice is heard over the communications link "Shepard we ready to leave any time you are? All the repairs are done ? Where are we going to? Shepard are you there?"

"Yes, Joker I am here. Open up ship wide communications".

Shepard stands "Alright everyone listen up! I made up my mind we are heading for the Citadel. I doubt we will make it that far. I believe that we will be intercepted by the Illusive Man's hit men or the Alliance. With my luck it will be both. I don't know how things will go down so I am offering you the last chance to jump ship. I will not stop you and neither will anyone else. I still plan on stopping the Reapers anyway I can with whoever will aid me in stopping the Reapers. Even with as many friends that we have made we have also made many enemies. This will not be an easy fight many of us will not survive the upcoming fight against the Reapers. I just hope the Alliance and the Council will finally believe me and start to prepare for the Reapers coming. If anyone wishes to leave you need to leave now. Shepard out."

"Well, this is it. Goodbye Liara and thanks again for everything." Shepard stops and turns back looking at Liara " I am sorry for burdening you with my troubles. I should not have done that. After all I am the GREAT Commander Shepard! "

Shepard turns back around and heads for her ship and towards her destiny.

Kaidan's Living Hell:

Kaidan feeling his anger still raging in him starts walking towards Horizon's shuttle port to take a shuttle to the Citadel after meeting Shepard on Horizon.

While walking along Kaidan shakes his head and starts mumbling to himself "How could she be working with Cerberus? She of all people knows what they are and what they are capable of doing. I don't understand what she was thinking." Kaidan suddenly stops walking for a moment then he continues walking with even more purpose in his stride as he hears himself mumbling even louder." That is not Shepard! That creature that thing is not my Shepard! My Shepard is dead and has been dead for two years. I swear I will continue killing every Cerberus person I can fine for making a mockery of my Shepard and her death!" Kaidan sits quietly in the shuttle still trying to figure out everything. Remembering the feel of Shepard in that brief hug. The longing of wanting her, the years of missing her. Then he remembers that is not her. Shepard is dead. She has to be dead. She would not let me think she has been dead for two years. She would not be working for Cerberus for two years.

Kaidan's Omni- tool beeps interfering with any further thoughts of Shepard. The data that Kaidan had uploaded has been analyzed. Kaidan stares at the results in disbelief and asks for it to be repeated. The results come back a second time the same as the first. One word falls from his lips...Shepard.

_**To: Admiral Hackett**_

_**CC: Councilor Anderson **_

_**From: Commander Alenko**_

_**Subject: Report on Horizon**_

_**The mission was somewhat successful. At least half of the Colonist's of Horizon were saved. The defense towers are up and operational. **_

_**Commander Shepard came to Horizon as expected. She was with Known Cerberus operatives. She appears to be a willing Cerberus operative. Commander Shepard and her team arrived after the attack had started. Commander Shepard and her team were able to get the defense tower operational. I don't know how that was accomplished. Between the defense tower's and Commander Shepard's team the Collector ship fled from Horizon. The Collector's used some sort of swarm of mechanical bugs (seekers) to place everyone in a form of Stasis. After they were immobilized they were placed in transport pods and carried to the Collector ship. My biotic's and armor was of no help. Commander Shepard and her team was unaffected. I collected a bug to be sent for analysis. Maybe there is an antidote. Maybe Cerberus had already developed an antidote. I don't know. **_

_**Data analysis completed of Commander Shepard:**_

_**Confirmed tracking device serial number n7shep responding to frequency hqalt and also another signal conforming to known Cerberus tracking signals .**_

_**DNA is positive this is Commander Shepard. **_

_**Signed,**_

_**Commander Alenko**_

Kaidan feeling one major migraine coming on departs the shuttle and heads for his apartment on the Citadel. Upon reaching his apartment Kaidan heads to his dark bedroom and lays down trying not to think about what all of this means. Upon awaking after getting a shower and dressing Kaidan heads for the Embassy to speak with Councilor Anderson. "Come in Kaidan. I hope you are feeling better."

"Thank-you Sir. I'm feeling okay now. Just... the stress about everything that happen on Horizon, Sir. Seeing Shep.. Commander Shepard after so long of a time thinking her dead was a little bit overwhelming, Sir." "What do make of it, Sir ? If I my ask?"

Councilor Anderson shakes his head offering a seat for Commander Alenko to sit."Earlier, you were already stationed on Horizon, C-Sec informed me that a Commander Shepard was on her way to see the Council and myself. I informed C-Sec that Commander Shepard was presumed to be dead. C-Sec stated that according to their DNA scans this was Commander Shepard." Councilor Anderson stopped talking and got up to walk to look out his window. Alenko got up to follow. "Sir, What was she wanting with you and the Council?"Councilor Anderson turns to face Kaidan."Shepard acted like we had just seen each other yesterday. She asked me where you and the rest of her crew was? I told that neither the Alliance or Council will share information with Cerberus operatives. She understood.. I think." Commander Alenko rubbing the back of his neck responds "She asked about me? um... if Commander Shepard was really dead for two years then... I can understand how Commander Shepard would think that it was just like yesterday when she had seen us even if it has really been two years."

Kaidan asks Councilor Anderson "Sir, Did it take two years to bring her back or was she back from the dead and working with Cerberus a lot earlier?" Councilor Anderson responds "I don't know. I wish I did Alenko. Commander Shepard was able to get her Spectre status restored .The Council has requested for her to stay out in the Terminus System and the Alliance will not accept her back until she is done with Cerberus." Councilor Anderson returns to his seat and Kaidan following sits down. Councilor Anderson looks Kaidan in the eyes "Kaidan ...It doesn't look good for her."

Kaidan with a look of concern in his expression "Sir, What are your orders?" Councilor Anderson gives Kaidan his orders. " I want you to find out where Commander Shepard has been and what she had been up to." Kaidan responds, "Understood Sir. I will leave right away."Councilor Anderson gives one last order, "Kaidan, keep in touch I expect reports about Commander Shepard's where about and what she is doing. You are to report to the Arcturus Station. You will be assigned to the SSV R2 Princeton. Take good care of her she is a good ship and take care of yourself." Kaidan leaves to go to his apartment to pack.

Back in his apartment Kaidan mulls over all of the new information that he has found out along with the old trying to make all of the information fit together.

After Shepard died the crew of the old Normandy had stayed together for awhile but without Commander Shepard the team broke up. Councilor Anderson sponsored Kaidan for Special Forces Training. The Special Forces Training was like therapy for Kaidan. During the six months that Kaidan spent there after Shepard's death Kaidan found himself trying to beat all of the high scores that Shepard had made when she was in Special Forces Training. Usually ending with him in second place but doing this seemed to somehow make him feel close to her. After Special Forces Training and his promotion the now Commander Alenko was assigned to special duty as an attaché to Councilor Anderson. For the next year and half Commander Alenko would be sent on different assignments for Councilor Anderson and the Council. During this time was when the rumors of Commander Shepard being alive started to surface and that she was working with Cerberus.

Liara was becoming a well known information broker on Illium. Liara was also a former crew mate aboard the old Normandy . Liara would send any information that concerned Cerberus to Commander Alenko. Liara and Alenko were both trying to save Commander Shepard's reputation. The Council and The Alliance had both started trying to claim that Commander Shepard was crazy and that there were no Reapers. Liara and Alenko both knew that the Reapers were real. Liara could never find out about the rumors if Shepard were alive or not. Kaidan thinking out loud on this " hum... I think that I should pay her a visit."

Liara did send Alenko to a place where Cerberus had been making a new ship. When Kaidan and his team of Marines reached the Cerberus facility there was no ship but Kaidan was able to recover some plans for one. The ship was the SR 2 Normandy. Commander Alenko and his team just made it out of the Cerberus Facility before the place exploded. The next place that Liara sent Commander Alenko to was another Cerberus Facility where research was being done on Artificial Intelligence. Cerberus had made an AI named EDI that was installed on the new SR 2 Normandy ship .Commander Alenko and his squad of Marines just breached the facility and obtained the research details before the place exploded. Commander Alenko was beginning to think that Commander Shepard was alive and working for Creberus and maybe she was trying to kill him. Everyone who knows Shepard knows she loves to make things go boom.

Commander Alenko was assigned to work with the Terminus colonist's of Horizon to aide in their defenses against an unknown threat that may have Cerberus connections.

Horizon... what a jerk I was. I need to contact Shepard and let her know. If Shepard had not been there then no one would have been saved including me. Councilor Anderson had given me her email address that she had left with him after her visit to the Citadel. Kaidan sits down at his computer and composes this email.

_**Shepard,**_

_**I'm sorry for what I said back on Horizon. I spent two years pulling myself back together after you went down with the Normandy. It took me a long time to get over my guilt for surviving and move on. I'd finally let my friends talk me into going out for drinks with a doctor on the Citadel. Nothing serious, but trying to let myself have a life again, you know? **_

_**Then I saw you again and everything pulled hard to port. You were standing in front of me, but you were with Cerberus. I guess I really don't know who either of us is anymore. Do you even remember that night before Ilos? That night meant everything to me...maybe it meant as much to you. But a lot has changed in the last two years and I can't just put that aside. But please be careful.**_ _**I've watched too many people close to me die – on Eden Prime, on Virmire, on Horizon, on the Normandy.**_

_**I couldn't bear it if I lost you again. If you're still the woman I remember, I know you'll find a way to stop these Collector attacks. But Cerberus is too dangerous to be trusted. Watch yourself. When things have settled down a little...maybe...I don't know. Just take care.**_

_**- Kaidan**_

Kaidan feeling better that maybe Shepard would forgive him for being a jerk and possibly giving him a second chance set out to finish his packing. After packing Kaidan went out to eat then turned in for the night. In the morning Kaidan took the shuttle to Arcturus Station. Kaidan reported to the flight commander and was shown to his ship the SSV R2 Princeton. This ship looks like the SR 2 Normandy that Kaidan had found the plans for on the Cerberus Facility. She was a sight to behold. Kaidan takes a tour of the ship on Deck 1 is the Captain's Cabin, Kaidan stores his gear and continues on his tour, Deck 2 is the Combat Information Center, Kaidan is surprised to be introduced to SAM (Systems Alliance Manager of Defensive Combat and Intelligence Gathering). Sam is an Artificial Intelligent Hologram ,Deck 3 is the Crew's Quarter's, Deck 4 is Engineering, and Deck 5 is the Hangar. After making himself acquainted with the ship, Commander Alenko was ready to start his new mission. Kaidan tells his ship's pilot Flight Lieutenant Sara Star (Radar) to set course to Omega.

Omega was one of the first places that it was rumored that Commander Shepard had been spotted at. Kaidan thought that this place might hold some keys to the mystery of what Shepard was up to and where she might have went to next. Kaidan also knows that wherever Shepard goes trouble would soon have followed. Kaidan cannot help but suppress a slight chuckle with this thought.

After reaching Omega Kaidan disembarks with a couple of his Marines, Sergeant Jeff Myers and Sergeant Philip Peterson who have been on Omega before. The Sergeant's suggested that they start their search in the Afterlife club and see Aria. One thing that serving with Commander Shepard had taught Commander Alenko was that it is important to always talk to everyone that is willing to talk to you and it is also important to be willing to offer help to anyone that needs your help thereby gaining their loyalty to you.

Entering the club Afterlife Kaidan soon finds his way over to where Aria is at. Kaidan starts to talk but Aria informs him that she knows who he is and what information he is seeking. Kaidan feeling a little bit unsure of himself "Um... How did you know who I was and what information it is that I was seeking?" Aria laughs and motions for him to sit down. "I am Aria, I am Omega and I know everything that happens on Omega or I would be dead" Kaidan nodding understanding "Well.. Uh... will you help me?" Aria looks at Kaidan with an intense glare. "It depends if you mean to cause Commander Shepard harm then, No. But, I don't think harming her is anything you have in mind. So Yes. I will help you." Aria leans back and tells Commander Alenko about the visit that Commander Shepard had paid to Omega. Aria tells Kaidan about the plague that was released by the Vorcha and how Commander Shepard helped in stopping it with the help of Mordin. Aria tells you that Shepard picked up a hired Mercenary by the name of Zaeed. Aria suggests that if we want to know more about Mordin we could go down to the clinic and speak with Daniel. He was Mordin's assistant. Aria tells of the help that Shepard gave by saving the Archangel from the three normally rival gang's (the Blood Pack, the Blue Suns & the Eclipse)who decided to unit to kill him. Aria then states that she believes Archangel is one of your old crew member from the Normandy named Garrus. I heard that Commander Shepard had also been to The Migrant Fleet, Tuchanka and Illium." Now, I think we are done here. Good luck finding your Commander Shepard. "Commander Alenko stands up and thanks Aria for her help. Commander Alenko , Jeff and Philip upon leaving the Afterlife Club is stopped by a Krogan on their way out. "Hey you, stop. I hear you are looking for Commander Shepard?"

Commander Alenko stops to address the Krogan "Um... Yes we are looking to find her? Have you seen her?" The Krogan who goes by the name of The Patriarch gets face to face with Commander Alenko. "What's it worth to you? She is part of my clan. You have a problem with her then you have a problem with me, got it?"Commander Alenko remembering the way that Shepard handled Wrex stood there and glared back unflinching and answered "I don't have a problem with her I just need to find her. I think she might be in trouble."The Patriarch seems to find this amusing "Ha! Shepard is the one that stops trouble. She doesn't start it. You will need my help." Commander Alenko decides to except his help. "Thank you... I guess... and welcome aboard. Can you show us to the Clinic?"

Commander Alenko and his squad head toward the clinic to speak with Daniel. Along the way Commander Alenko checks out the various shops. Upon reaching the clinic Commander Alenko introduces himself to Daniel. " I am Commander Alenko and I am looking for any help you can provide me with in tracking down Commander Shepard. I hear that you may be able to help me." Daniel stops working for a minute. "Commander Shepard saved my life. Is she in trouble?"

Commander Alenko thinking to himself. Another person that Shepard has helped and I wouldn't trust her all I could feel and think about was my hurt and anger. "No. She is not in trouble yet but I think she may be in danger and I would like to find her and help her if I can."

From out of a corner a Salarian comes over and introduces himself as Maelon. "I hear you are looking for Commander Shepard? She saved my life on Tuchanka when her squad mate Mordin wanted to kill me. I understand why he wanted to kill me and I owe Commander Shepard my life I would like to go with you to help her."

Commander Alenko accepts his offer of help. Commander Alenko and his small group leaves to return to the Princeton. Before boarding the ship a Quarian approaches the group and introduces himself as Kenn. "Excuse me but I hear you are looking for Commander Shepard. I know her. She helped me buy a ticket so that I could leave this place but I lost the money and well.. I was wondering if I could come with you? I am on my pilgrimage. I could help to get you into the migrant fleet. I heard that Commander Shepard had went there." Commander Alenko rubbing the back of his neck and thinking. Who has she not helped? I thought she was some creature! I was the creature not her. Commander Alenko answers the young Quarian , " Yes. Sure.. welcome aboard."Commander Alenko and his small group enters the Princeton.

Commander Alenko tells Radar to set course for Tuchanka.

Commander Alenko takes the time to visit with the ship's crew then he grabs a bite to eat and goes to his cabin to file his report to Councilor Anderson.

_**To: Councilor Anderson**_

_**From: Commander Alenko**_

_**Subject: Status Report**_

_**I have checked out Omega. Commander Shepard had been there. Commander Shepard stopped a plague, helped an old Krogan regain his self-worth, saved Garrus from being killed by the Suns, the Eclipse and the Blood Pack. Seems he managed to make all three of them so mad that they would work together in order to kill him. Shepard picked up a hired Mercenary by the name of Zaeed. I picked up some help while I was there. The old Krogan is onboard along with a Quarian that Commander Shepard had helped and a Salarian by the name of Maelon. His story is that another Salarian by the name of Mordin who is a member of Shepard's crew wanted to kill him but Shepard stopped that and he wanted to come with us to help Shepard. We are on our way to Tuchanka.**_

_**Signed, **_

_**Commander Kaidan**_

Kaidan walks around his room and places a picture of Shepard on his nightstand and another on his desk. Kaidan then undresses and takes a shower trying to relieve the stress that is slowing making itself known to him with the starting of a migraine. Kaidan goes to his terminal to once again look to see if there is a message from Shepard. Kaidan looking at her picture asks "Why won't you answer me?" Then Kaidan gets up and heads for the bed knowing that it will be another long night of fitful sleeping thinking about how he had hurt Shepards feelings.

Kaidan awakes throughout the night seeing Shepard spaced and then seeing her alive on Horizon. Remembering her on Ilos and remembering the feel of her on Horizon his longing for her. Kaidan wakes up and Radar informs him that they are at Tuchanka. Kaidan and his crew lands on Tuchanka.

Commander Alenko makes his way to where Wrex is at. Wrex greets Kaidan. "Welcome Kaidan. What can I do for you? I hear that you are now a Commander. You are now like a Battlemaster." Alenko shakes the hand of his friend "I am here trying to find out where Shepard is at? and what she has been doing?" Wrex tells Alenko that Shepard had been on Tuchanka a couple of months ago. "What has Shepard been blowing up now to get her in trouble?" Alenko laughs, "Well... she has been busy and she has been blowing things up but... she is okay right now but I am worried about her and would like to find her. I need to know about her death and then her coming back to life and working for Cerberus. How did she wind up working for Cerberus?"

Wrex grunts and then asks, "Did you and Shepard have a fight?" Alenko rubs the back of his neck and answers " Yeah.. I was a jerk when I seen her back on Horizon. I thought she had betrayed me and the Alliance. I thought she was some sort of monster. How could she have been alive for two years and not contacted me? I thought that she had let me think she was dead for two years and all of this time she was alive and working for Cerberus. Shepard told me that she had really been dead for the whole two years but I believed what I was told that she had been working for Cerberus for that whole time and she had not died but had faked her death. I should have just trusted Shepard. Shepard said she had been dead for two years and Cerberus had just brought her back to life just recently."

Wrex shakes his head and gives Kaidan a slap on the back. " Shepard is Shepard that is all I needed to know. While Shepard was here she saved one of our scouts. Shepard had a whelp of a Krogan named Grunt and she fought with him for his Rite of Passage. Shepard is now his Battlemaster. Shepard went to another Krogan clan and stopped them from taking over. Shepard has made my clan stronger and she didn't blow up the place." Alenko laughing, "Are you sure that was Shepard? Huh...She didn't blow the place up."

Alenko takes his leave and looks around the place talking to different Krogan's. The scout that Shepard saved has asked to come along to help find Shepard. Alenko takes his leave from Wrex and promises to stay in touch and let him know about Shepard. Wrex thinks Shepard was going to Ilium and the Migrant Fleet and then back to the Citadel. Kaidan thanks him for the information.

Once aboard the Princeton a communication is relayed to Commander Alenko from Councilor Anderson.

"Commander Alenko, we have just had a signal from the Omega four relay and a ship with the signature of the new Normandy has entered the relay. You know that no one has ever went through and returned from the Omega four relay. I know that you will want to follow but I order you not to. I order you to continue on in your search for information about what Commander Shepard is up to. Maybe that is the best way to help her. If she does not come back through the relay then we will know why. If anyone can come back through the relay it will be Commander Shepard. I cannot stress to you how important it is for you to continue on your present mission. Councilor Anderson out."

Commander Alenko leaves and goes to his cabin to have some time to think. Kaidan finds himself wondering why would Shepard go through the Omega four relay? What is she doing? Will I ever get the chance to make things right with her? How can anyone survive going through the Omega four relay and then come back? Commander Alenko looks at Shepard's picture and checks the email again hoping that Shepard would have sent him a message before going through the relay. Finding no email Kaidan decides to talk with the young Quarian about going to the Migrant Fleet. I have to do something. I can't just sit and do nothing. The young Quarian gives Commander Alenko the location for the Migrant Fleet. Commander Alenko has Radar set a course for the Migrant Fleet. Kaidan retires to his room and writes his report to Councilor Anderson.

_**To: Councilor Anderson**_

_**From: Commander Alenko **_

_**Subject: Report **_

_**We landed on Tuchanka. I spoke with Wrex. Shepard was here and she saved a scout from another clan. This scout is with us aboard the Princeton. Shepard stopped another clan from taking over. Wrex's clan is now the strongest clan. Shepard helped a young Krogan that is a member of her crew by the name of Grunt go through his Rite Of Passage. Wrex thinks Shepard went to the Migrant fleet after she left Tuchanka so that is where I will go to next.**_

_**Signed,**_

_**Commander Alenko**_

Kaidan starts to leave and hears his computer beep letting him know he has a message. His heart misses a beat hoping that it would be a email back from Shepard. Kaidan scrolls through his mail to find an email back from Councilor Anderson.

_**To: Commander Alenko**_

_**From: Councilor Anderson**_

_**Subject: Update **_

_**Kaidan I have information that the young tank grown Krogan that was developed by a scientist named Okeer is with Commander Shepard. The place where Okeer was working at had been blown up by the time the 5th Fleet arrived. **_

_**I have another report that a prison ship that had a Biotic named Jack had been blown up. A Cerberus ship had been seen leaving the prison ship that matches the description of Shepards ship.**_

_**Kaidan, keep up the good work. **_

_**While on the Citadel Shepard was reported to have been in the company of a master thief by the name of Kasumi. It is believed that Shepard helped her on some mission and that Kasumi is now working with Shepard. **_

_**Signed,**_

_**Councilor Anderson**_

Although it was good to hear from Councilor Anderson it tore at Kaidan's heart that he has not heard from Shepard. Kaidan left to make his rounds talking to the crew and getting him something to eat.

Kaidan retires to his room for another night of restless sleep worrying about Shepard.

Sam appears in the Captain's cabin and wakes Kaidan telling him that they are on approach to the Migrant Fleet. Sam has taken on the form of a male human today. Sam likes to try on different forms and different voices. "Thank you Sam. I will be there in a minute. Would you please have our young Quarian friend come to the cockpit? " Sam disappears. Kaidan mutters to himself. "I don't think I can get use to having an AI."

Kaidan goes to the cockpit and the young Quarian is there. Over the communications channel the voice of the Migrant Fleets traffic controller is heard. "Please identify yourself?" The young Quarian gives the pass phrase "After time adrift among open stars, along tides of light and through shoals of dust, I will return to where I began." The traffic controller responds back" That is the correct pass phrase. We have identified you as the Alliance ship SSV R2 Princeton. You will be met upon docking by security and quarantine personal."

Kaidan, the young Quarian and Maelon goes aboard the Rayya.

The young Quarian introduces you to various people. A Quarian female by the name of Shala' Raan approaches you and asks if you are the same young man that Tali has spoken of as being her friend and a friend with Commander Shepard. Commander Alenko explains that he had served on board the old Normandy with Tali and Commander Shepard and they are my friends. Shala 'Raan "How may we assist you Commander Alenko?" Kaidan rubs the back of his neck wondering how much does she know and what should he say," Well ...Um it is somewhat hard to explain. Two years ago Shep.. Commander Shepard was suppose to be dead."Shala 'Raan says "Yes. Tali was very upset when she came home after the Normandy exploding and the lost of Commander Shepard. Your Commander Shepard came here not long ago. Commander Shepard was on a Cerberus ship with Tali. Your Commander Shepard must be a hard person to kill but why she would be with Cerberus I do not understand but Tali trusts her and her mission."

Another Quarian approaches the group and introduces himself as Kal ' Reegar. "I hear you are asking about Commander Shepard and Tali?" Kaidan turns to face the Quarian male, "Yes. I have some questions about Commander Shepard. Do you have an information that may help?"

Kal ' Reegar taking stock of Kaidan answers," Commander Shepard saved him and Tali. Tali and a group of Quarian Marines were on a mission and Commander Shepard showed up in time to save them. It was after this mission that Tali left to go with Commander Shepard. Tali and Commander Shepard came back to the Migrant Fleet not long ago when there was a trial being held accusing Tali of treason. Commander Shepard was able to prove Tali's innocent."

Commander Alenko is led over to where another Quarian by the name of Veetor is standing. Veetor is rubbing his hands together and looking around. "My name is Commander Alenko. I know Commander Shepard and I am trying to find her. Can you help me?"

Veetor looks around and says, "The Collectors will find him he must hide." Kaidan asks, "Can you tell me about the collectors? It is really important." Veetor tells him he was on Freedoms Progress when the collectors came. He was able to escape and that Commander Shepard was there. He has proof that it was the Collectors who have been taking the Human colonists. Veetor leads Kaidan back to his room and takes out an Omni Tool that he had stashed away. Veetor showed Kaidan the surveillance clips he had made on Freedom's Progress. Veetor then downloaded them to Kaidan's Omni-Tool. "Thank you Veetor this is most helpful. I am sure that it will help Commander Shepard."

Leaving the room Kal ' Reegar says he wants to go with Kaidan. He wants to help Tali and Commander Shepard. After boarding the Princeton Kal' Reegar tells Kaidan that he knows that Commander Shepard and Tali said something about going to Illium to see their old friend Liara. Kaidan makes his rounds and has Radar set course for Illium.

Radar informs Commander Alenko that there is an incoming message from Admiral Hackett.

"Kaidan this is Admiral Hackett I have been informed that there may be Geth activity at the old Normandy crash site. Precede to that location and check it out. Admiral Hackett out."

Radar you heard him change course for the Normandy crash site. Kaidan retires to his room to take a shower.

Kaidan has been avoiding going to the crash site for two years. Now he has been ordered to go there. I know that Shepard is alive but ... going there brings thought of her betrayal of not letting him know that she was alive and the lingering question of why is she with Cerberus?

Commander Alenko selects Kal' Reegar and The Patriarch to go to the crash site with him. After landing a brief fight with some Geth occur but there is something strange. One Geth is fighting against the others. Kaidan with a soft chuckle thinks maybe this one Geth just might have their wires crossed. After the battle this Geth speaks "Don't shoot Alenko Commander!" Kaidan and his squad still keeps their guns aimed at the Geth. "Who are you and...Um... I didn't know Geth could speak? and how do you know who I am? " The Geth unit lowers his rifle and begins to explain. " I am Geth. The other Geth that was here are Heretics. They followed Saren and are lost from the Geth that I am a part of. I am a Back up copy of another unit that was sent to find Shepard Commander. I know that you are Alenko Commander and that you are seeking Shepard Commander. The other Geth unit has said that I am to help you if I find you. Shepard Commander calls the other Geth unit Legion for we are many. I will await your order Alenko Commander. " Kaidan tells the others to stand watch over this Geth unit . I wish to have a minute and look around the site. Kaidan walks about the site remembering the old crew and all of the good times he also remembers the pain of losing Shepard. Kaidan sees the memorial that was left there by Shepard and deep in his heart Kaidan has finally made up his mind that he must talk to Shepard and find out the truth about her being alive and working for Cerberus.

Commander Alenko returns to the squad and asks the Geth "What are we going to call you? " The Geth answers , "I am Geth we have no names." Kaidan says "The other Geth unit goes by the name of Legion. You said you are a back up. So I will call you Back Up."

The squad returns to the Princeton.

Kaidan retires to his room after making rounds and grabbing him something to eat.

Kaidan wakes up in a sweat. He had been dreaming about the crash and losing Shepard. Kaidan wonders if he will ever see Shepard again and if he will ever learn the truth about her being alive. Will she make it back through the Omega four relay and Why did she go through it in the first place? Is Shepard trying to kill herself because of me, because I was a jerk toward her on Horizon? Kaidan still hears Shepard's voice ordering him to vacate the ship and wondering if he should have rescued Joker without telling her... so many if's. Kaidan wonders how the Omega four mission went for Shepard. Kaidan gets angry at himself thinking he should have been there with her. She could have died and again and he was not there for her. Kaidan makes a vow if I find her and she will let me back into her life I will never let her face death alone again. I will be beside her from now on. Kaidan gets up and checks his email. Still nothing from Shepard. Kaidan goes back to bed and tries to go to sleep but knowing that it will be another long night of missing Shepard.

Commander Alenko tells Radar to set course for Illium. Kaidan gets a shower and looks at his computer hoping against hope that there will be a message from Shepard. Seeing that there is no messages from Shepard Kaidan prepares his report.

Commander Alenko we have an incoming call from Councilor Anderson. I'll patch him through to your room.

"Commander Alenko ,we have word that the Omega four relay has been activated again and the signal matches that of the Normandy. The Normandy made it back through the relay.

Our informants on Omega reported that the Normandy had been docked at Illium for a brief period of time. The Normandy is in bad shape. The crew made some temporary fixes and picked up supplies for some more major ship repairs. Commander Shepard was seen going into Liara's office. A short time later Liara and Commander Shepard returned to the Normandy. The Normandy left Illium and went off of the grid. We will send a ship to where the Normandy was last seen before it went off of the grid and await there to see if the Normandy reappears. You are to continue on to Illium to see if you can find out where Commander Shepard went to. Councilor Anderson out."

_**To: Councilor Anderson**_

_**From: Commander Alenko **_

_**Subject: Progress Report**_

_**I have some good news. While on the Migrant Fleet I met Veetor. He was on Freedoms Progress and he had surveillance footage of the Collectors taking the colonists. I am forwarding a copy of this file. I picked up Kal ' Reegar. He was on a mission with Tali and Commander Shepard saved them. Tali is with Commander Shepard. Admiral Hackett sent word for me to go to the Normandy crash site. The Geth that was present there has been taken care of. **_

_**I picked up a Geth unit that I call Back Up. He is a back up copy of another Geth unit named Legion that is working with Commander Shepard. Back up explained that the Geth are split into two groups. The Geth Unit Legion and Back up are suppose to remove the threat of the Heretic group of Geth that had been working for Saren. Legion, Back up and most of the Geth would not follow Saren. I have faith that Commander Shepard will help the Geth unit to destroy the Heretic bunch of Geth. I am going to Illium next. Maybe more clues will be answered about Shepard.**_

_**Signed,**_

_**Commander Alenko**_

Commander Alenko picks his squad and leaves the docking bay where he is met by an Asari who informs Commander Alenko, " My name is Pixie and I have been instructed that if Commander Alenko comes to Illium that I am to pay for his docking fees and then I am to escort him to Liara's old office. Commander Alenko asks his escort, " You said, her old office is Liara still here?" The Asari tells Commander Alenko, "Commander Shepard had met with Liara and helped her to find a spy that was in her employ. After that Commander Shepard left. Liara had more work to do so she stayed here on Illium. When Commander Shepard returned again there was trouble." Kaidan asked, "Did anything get blown up?" The Asari named Pixie answers," It seems that a Spectre was trying to kill Liara and Commander Shepard killed this Spectre. The Spectre was holding someone as a hostage so Commander Shepard did save this person's life, and yes, a building had been blown up." The Asari tells Kaidan ,"Liara and Shepard has left Illium and Liara has not returned but kept her office and hired me to wait here for you."

Unlocking the door to Liara's office Kaidan asks the Asari "What am I suppose to do here?" The Asari tells Kaidan, " You are to activate the computer that Liara had left for him on her desk. "

The Asari takes her leave. Kaidan sits down at the desk and looks at the computer. Kaidan hits the enter key and finds it is password protected. Kaidan thinks and enters a password...Shepard. The computer comes alive with a bunch of documents and an email addressed to Kaidan from Liara with a note attached to please read first. Kaidan reads the email.

_**To: Kaidan**_

_**From: Liara**_

_**Subject: Answers for your questions**_

_**Kaidan I am sorry to have to contact you in this manner but I will explain things to you at a later date. Please know that I love both you and Shepard and I would do anything to help either of you. I think that you two love each other and belong with each other. I know that Shepard is hurting and she is missing you and she still loves you. It is not her fault that she is with Cerberus. It is my fault.**_

_**Shepard has forgiven me and it is my hope that you will be able to forgive me. **_

_**After the team split up I came to Illium and started to work as an information broker. I had started to make many contacts and had gathered a lot of information. One of my contacts had found out that the Shadow Broker had found Commander Shepard's body and was in the process of selling her body to the Collectors. I could not stand for that to happen to Shepard. My contact and myself designed a plan to rescue Shepard's body. The plan went well and we had Shepard's body. I had thought of turning it over for a proper burial but my contact said that the Illusive Man had a way to bring Shepard back to life. **_

_**I thought it was crazy but still I could not help that my heart was racing with the thought of Shepard alive again. If they could not bring her back to life then the Illusive Man said I could have her body back. **_

_**I know all of the things we had seen and they were not to be trusted but... Shepard alive. How could I not let them try. I gave them her body and the Illusive Man said that they would provide proof that it would be Shepard back the exact same way as she was before she died. No clone, no monster, just Shepard. **_

_**In the documents you will find the information on the Lazarus Project. **_

_**Shepard brought me these documents after she had been awaken from the dead on the Cerberus station where Project Lazarus had been developed. Shepard told me that the station was under attack when they woke her up and she had to fight her way off of the station. It had taken two years to bring her back from the dead and a man named Wilson had wanted to kill her. Miranda killed Wilson.**_

_**Shepard, Jacob and Miranda left the station and went to see the Illusive Man. The Illusive Man tells Shepard that everyone of her old crew has moved on. Kaidan, she asked about you first to both Miranda, Jacob and the Illusive Man no one would tell her anything about you except that you had moved on with your life like all of the rest of us. **_

_**Shepard even went to the Citadel as soon as she could. She had the new Normandy and Joker was the pilot. She thought Councilor Anderson and the Council would welcome her back but the Illusive man had already been working spreading lies that she had been alive this whole time and working for him. Shepard had no choice but to work with him until she could rid herself of him if she wanted to help the human colonies. **_

_**You know Shepard if anyone needs help she will do anything in her power to help them regardless of what it may cost her and it cost her dearly because she lost you Kaidan. You hurt her but Shepard had a mission and she would not fail in doing her mission of stopping the Collectors and the Reapers. Shepard needs you Kaidan. She still loves you. For Shepard two years did not happen. **_

_**With Shepard's help I am now the new Shadow Broker. I will send you where I am located at. Look for the email on your personal computer. I hope that you can forgive me for placing Shepard's dead body into the hands of Cerberus but I could not let Shepard stay dead. I need her and the whole universe needs her if we are to win against the Reapers.**_

_**Signed,**_

_**Liara**_

_**P.S. Shepard was sent to Illium by the Illusive Man to fine an Asari Justicar by the name of Samara and an Assassin by the name of Thane the first time she was here. I sent her to see a tracking officer by the name of Dara to get information for the Justicar and then I sent her to a former head of security named Seryna. Thane was suppose to assassinate Seryna's former boss. Shepard later left Illium with both Samara and Thane as new crew members.**_

Kaidan downloads all of the files from Liara's computer to his Omni-tool to download to his personal computer onboard the Princeton. He will have time later to go over all of the information and file his report.

Liara is now the new Shadow Broker. Shepard really was dead for two years and it really was not her fault that she was with Creberus. Shepard needs me! Shepard still loves me! I will find her and make it all up to her. After Kaidan finishes downloading the files and starts to leave the room the computer self-destructs.

Commander Alenko looks around Illium looking for any new weapons or upgrades for himself or his crew.

While exploring Illium Kaidan runs across Shiala from Zhu's hope. "Lieutenant Alenko how nice to see you. Is Commander Shepard back on Illium again?" Kaidan stops to chat with Shiala, " It is nice to see you again. I am now Commander Alenko. Commander Shepard is not here. I am trying to find her. I think she may be in trouble and I have to find her and try to help her if she is in trouble. What do you know of her visit here on Illium? You said Commander Shepard was here . What can you tell me about her visit here? "

Shiala tells about the help that Commander Shepard gave her again and how it has helped everyone at Zhu's Hope. Shiala tells Commander Alenko that Commander Shepard always seems to be able to help people. Shiala asks Commander Alenko if she may go with him to help Commander Shepard. Commander Alenko remembers Shepard telling him that she never turns down the offer of help. "Shiala welcome aboard. I would welcome your help."

Commander Alenko and his squad starts off heading toward the docking bay when a strange Asari approaches him, "I have a message for you from a friend that you and Commander Shepard saved on Noveria." The Asari goes into a trace like state and speaks these words to Kaidan:__

_**"The song of Commander Shepard had the song of death there was silence for awhile and all of the universe stopped to listen and embrace this song of Shepard's death. All was saddened by this song, all hope was loss for a time, the song of blackness, of death was the only song we heard from Shepard. Then the universe began to hear a very small and very quit song of life from Shepard. The song grew stronger over time. The light began to pour into the universe. Hope began to be renewed. Shepard's song was now a song of life full and strong once again. **_

_**We noticed that The song of Shepard did have some change to it. Commander Shepard's song had a tone of despair born out of confusion and loss. Shepard sang over and over again ,where is my soul mate? I am alone. I am not whole. I cannot go on. Where is my soul mate? **_

_**This soul mate is you, Commander Alenko. It is you that is in her song. You must make Commander Shepard's song strong and whole or all will be loss. **_

_**We will not be able to defeat the Reapers unless Commander Shepards song is full of life, hope, love, trust and faith. **_

_**When Commander Shepard sings for our help we will be there."**_

The Asari comes out of her trace. "I have given you the Rachni Queens message. I hope that it will aid you. Seek and find Shepard. Make her whole once more." The Asari leaves as quickly as she came.

Kaidan goes to see the tracking officer Dara who tells Commander Alenko that she sent Commander Shepard to see the Police Detective Anaya. Kaidan goes to see Anaya and is told that Commander Shepard helped the Justicar Samara. She tells Commander Alenko about the Justicar swearing an oath to temporarily suspend her Justicar code so that she can help Commander Shepard in her mission. Back at the transportation hub Commander Alenko talks to Tana who tells him about the Drell assassin who joined Commander Shepard's crew. Tana tells Commander Alenko about the death of Nassana Dantius. This was the target of the assassin Thane. Nassana was a terrible person and Tana is glad to see the last of her. Seryna had disappeared after she helped Shepard fine Thane.

Kaidan is done with all of his leads and looking around so he heads back to his ship the Princeton. On board the ship Kaidan makes his rounds talking to his crew.

Kaidan has Radar set course to the Citadel.

Kaidan goes to his cabin to download the files from his Omni-tool to his personal computer so that he may look over the documents that he obtained from Liara's office computer. SAM's Halo image appears in Commander Alenko's cabin. "Commander Alenko, I traced a signal that was sent from your personal computer to an unknown location. A computer from that location sent a message back to your personal computer.

Commander Alenko tells SAM that he was expecting this message.

Kaidan decides to look through the files before looking through his emails. Kaidan sees a document that provides proof that Cerberus did in fact have Commander Shepard's body and in goes into detail about how they brought her back to life. In gives dates and names of people working on Project Lazarus.

According to the dates it confirms what Commander Shepard told him way back on Horizon. Commander Shepard had been dead for two years. It had taken that long to bring her back to life.

Kaidan looks at the pictures of his Shepard's dead body and then he remembers her being alive at Horizon and how good she felt to hold in his arms again but ... his hatred of Cerberus and the lies he believed of Shepard not being dead but working for them all of that time made him hurt the woman he loves above everything.

Kaidan closes the files down and then he checks his emails. There are no emails from Shepard. There is an email from Liara with a location of her Shadow Broker Base. Kaidan enters the location into the ships computer.

Kaidan prepares his report for Councilor Anderson.

_**To: Councilor Anderson**_

_**From: Commander Alenko**_

_**Subject: Report**_

_**The trip to Illium was successful. I have obtained more information about Commander Shepard. I have proof that Commander Shepard was dead for the two years that it was claimed that she was alive and working for Cerberus.**_

_**I have the location of the Shadow Brokers Headquarters.**_

_**I was in touch with the Rachni Queen's emissary.**_

_**I was informed that Commander Shepard had picked up an Asari Justicar and a Drell Assassin.**_

_**Shiala from Zhu's hope has joined my crew. **_

_**We are heading back to the Citadel.**_

_**Signed,**_

_**Commander Alenko**_

Radar's voice comes over the communications system,

"Commander Alenko, I just received word from Joker that Commander Shepard had made it back from the Omega 4 relay several days ago. They are all alive and they had stopped briefly at Illium to get supplies to repair their ship. Commander Shepard met with Liara and then they went to the Shadow Brokers base to finish repairing the Normandy. They should be at the Citadel."

The Princeton docks at the Alliance docking bay at the Citadel. Commander Alenko is standing in the cockpit of the Princeton," Radar find out where the Normandy is docked. Radar looks through some data and responds back to Commander Alenko," The Normandy had been given permission to dock at Alliance bay number two. " Kaidan thinks to himself that maybe this living hell that he has found himself in might soon be over. Kaidan may soon get the chance to be with Shepard again.

Commander Alenko sets up shore leave for the crew of Princeton and then he leaves to go to Councilor Anderson's office. On his way through the security scans Commander Alenko is called over by Captain Bailey. Commander Alenko is introduced to two Drell's. The older Drell is Thane and the younger is his son named Kolyat.

Commander Alenko informs Thane and Kolyat that he would like to stay and chat more with them but he is really in a rush to get to Councilor Anderson's office. Kaidan explains that he needs to see Commander Shepard and he doesn't want to miss his chance to see her. Thane responds back that he is not too sure how happy Commander Shepard will be in seeing him after Horizon. Kaidan explains that is why he must see Shepard. He knows the truth and he needs to let her know that he was a jerk and ask her to forgive him. Commander Alenko takes his leave from them and rushes on to Councilor Anderson's office.

Commander Alenko hears talking coming from Councilor Anderson's office. Kaidan listens to hear if Shepard is there. Kaidan quietly enters the room. He see's Shepard and his heart misses a beat. He hears Shepard talking to the council members. They are going to put her on trial for the murder of the Spectre on Illium. The Alliance wants her to be court marshaled for treason.

Kaidan wonders if the whole universe has gone mad?

Commander Alenko strolls over and stands beside Shepard and tells the Council members " I think you have all gone mad. What are you talking about? Treason. Commander Shepard did not commit treason. Murder? Commander Shepard did not commit murder."

Commander Shepard turns and looks at Kaidan shaking her head, "Kaidan I give up. They are right everyone is right. Just let it be. I want nothing from you or anyone."

We are placing Commander Shepard under arrest. She will be taken to jail and held there until her trial that will take place in three days from now.

Commander Alenko asks the council "Do you really think jail is the proper place for Commander Shepard? I think you need to place Commander Shepard in my care." Commander Shepard tells the council " I would rather go to jail than be anywhere near Commander Alenko."

The Council places Commander Shepard in Commander Alenko's custody and is to be placed under house arrest until her trial which will be set three days from now. The Council's holograms disappears leaving Councilor Anderson, Commander Shepard and Commander Alenko alone in Councilor Anderson's office.

Commander Alenko asks Councilor Anderson" What was that all about? What is going on?" Councilor Anderson tells Commander Alenko to "Please take Commander Shepard to your apartment." Councilor Anderson makes a motion with his hand that Commander Alenko recognizes as their code for this place is bugged. Commander Alenko faces Commander Shepard and asks her," Shepard will you please come with me?" Shepard in a cold voice says, "I will go with you but.. it will change nothing between us. You have the couch."

Commander Alenko takes Commander Shepard to his apartment. While walking Kaidan tries to start some small talk with Shepard. "Do you need anything from your ship? I will pick up anything you need." Shepard laughs ,"If you step foot on my ship you may not get back out alive but go ahead and try I do need some personal items. I will make a list and I will write some orders for the crew and I will wish you good luck on coming back alive." Kaidan can't help but wonder if what happen to make Shepard act so different. "What happen to you? Why are you so different?"

Shepard laughs, " Me different? No. I am just beginning to understand that maybe the Reapers offer might be a good offer in the long run for the galaxy." Kaidan stops walking and grabs hold of Shepards arm, " You can't really think that. Not after all that you went through. I can't believe that you would really think that." Shepard jerks her arm away from his hold, " What do you know about what I think? I am some Cerberus murdering traitor. Isn't that what you said about me on Horizon and isn't that what the Council thinks about me? " Kaidan motions toward a duplex that is his apartment. Kaidan opens the door and lets Shepard into his apartment. "Make yourself at home Shepard. Paper and pens are on the desk. If you will make your list I will go take care of it for you. I need to bring some of my things back from my ship. What would you like to eat? I can stop and bring us something back." Shepard goes over to his desk and writes her list out and her orders for her crew and hands them to Kaidan. "Bring back Chinese."

Kaidan tells Shepard that she will be unable to leave the apartment. There will be guards placed outside. The computer is locked down and cannot be hacked. Kaidan leaves the apartment . Kaidan heads for her ship.

Commander Shepard looks around the apartment. She tells herself Kaidan did say to make herself at home. But Shepard knows that as she is looking around she is looking to see if there is someone else in Kaidan's life. Had he moved on? Is that why he acted the way he did on Horizon? What did he do for two years? Shepard finds no traces of any other women in the apartment. Shepard goes into the bedroom and on the nightstand she see's where it looks like something was there but it is not there now and she finds herself wondering what it could have been and where is it at? Back in the living area at the computer desk she sees a file that has her name on it. She opens and sees that Kaidan has all sorts of clippings of things that had been wrote about her. Shepard settles back and starts to read about what was said about her. Shepard even finds in the file official reports from the Alliance about her. Shepard finds it hard to understand why anyone would write such trash about her after all she did saving the Council and the Citadel from the Geth. She now understands even more why Kaidan felt the way he did when he seen her on Horizon. Kaidan's computer beeps that there is a message. Shepard goes over and hits the enter button. The computer starts to talk." Hello Commander Shepard this is Radar. I am friends with Joker. I am Commander Alenko's Flight Lieutenant. I was wondering if Commander Alenko has made it back to the apartment yet? We have a problem. It seems like EDI and SAM are doing a lot of data transferring and we are unsure what to do. SAM will listen to Commander Alenko but I don't think EDI will. You may have to come to your ship and have a talk with her. I'll check back later. By the way, I am happy that you are with Commander Alenko. He has been in such a sad state after Horizon. He hasn't been sleeping well. SAM had been very worried about him. Commander Alenko missed you so much. Oh... Commander Alenko just came on board. He must have went to the Normandy first. Radar out."

Commander Shepard goes back and puts the file up and then she looks around for anything else she can find. Commander Shepard finds a file with Alenko's name on it and sit down and starts to go through the file. It starts with a lot of stuff that Shepard already knows about Alenko's past . When Shepard reaches when the old Normandy crashes she starts to read to find out what Kaidan did with his time.

Commander Shepard reads that Councilor Anderson had recommended Commander Alenko for Special Forces training. He was gone for 6 months and then Kaidan had been assigned to Councilor Anderson as a Special Attaché.

Commander Shepard looked at the scores that Commander Alenko had during his Special Forces training. She noted that he was in second place in most of his scores and when he didn't score second he was in first place. Shepard had to smile at this. Shepard was never beaten in any of the scores until Alenko bested her in them few scores.

Commander Alenko's file is quite after that. Shepard figures it was classified work that he was doing for Councilor Anderson. Shepard does know that Alenko would do homework before any mission and sure enough Shepard would find little bits of information scattered around in the file. There were different types of research projects that Kaidan had looked up and stuck in the file. There were files on different ships like the old Normandy there were files on some asteroids and planets and Cerberus. There was Liara's email when she was on Illium. There were research on AI and again asteroids , planets and Cerberus. Then there was research on defense grids and the planet Horizon and colonists missing and Cerberus and Commander Shepard's name.

Shepard decided it might be time for Kaidan to return so she put everything back.

The computer beeped again and Shepard goes over to answer it. "Shepard, this is Joker. How's everything going? Has Radar got a hold of Alenko? " Shepard answers that Radar did mention that Alenko just came on board his ship. He was going to stop for Chinese food on the way back here to the apartment. Is everything okay?" Joker seems to be a little bit hesitant in his answer. " Well...it was a little bit scary there for a while but everything seems to be okay now. Whatever Commander Alenko told SAM and EDI it seemed to satisfy them for now. Alenko came by the Normandy first then he went to the Princeton. He will be home soon then I guess I should go. You two love birds behave. Joker out."

Commander Alenko enters the apartment. " I think I have everything that you asked for." Alenko goes to the couch and places her things there and takes the food to the table. He then goes over to the desk and places his stuff down. "Shall we eat before everything gets cold?" Shepard goes over to the table to eat. "Thank you for bringing me my things. Did anything happen?" Kaidan smiles and answers, "No. Everything is fine. No one gave me any problems. Your ship is very nice. Maybe you would like a tour of the Princeton. She was modeled on the New Normandy after all." Shepard raises an eyebrow, "No problems? um... Radar and Joker seems to think there was a problem with SAM and EDI." Alenko gives her a little smile, "I took care of it. I wish they wouldn't have told you anything about it. I don't want you to be troubled with that sort of stuff. I have to go out after we are done eating. I will be back in a little bit." Kaidan gets up and leaves the apartment leaving Shepard slightly confused. Shepard goes over and gets her things and goes into the bedroom to put up her things. Shepard finds Kaidan's picture in the things he brought for her. "Oh... shit! I didn't think he would see it. I bet he thinks he has me wrapped around his finger. Well, he doesn't not for one moment. Where did he go to? Did he go to meet some lady? I don't care... remember. But .. I do care. SHIT!"

Shepard goes back out to the living area and sees Kaidan's things. I might as well put up his stuff. Shepard sees that Kaidan has a picture of her in his things. Shepard hugs the photo thinking that Kaidan must really care only for her. But... Where is he at? What is he up to?

Shepard decides to use the time alone by snooping into Kaidan's files. Shepard finds a file on Horizon. Shepard sees the report he filed on her. I had forgotten about the chip that all military personnel has implanted into them. The Cerberus signal is a new find. Shepard begins to worry. I need to get that signal stopped before the Illusive Man tracks her down and maybe Kaidan will get hurt. Damn you Alenko the hug was just so you could scan me and get your damn DNA! But.. the hug felt so good the feel of him the smell of him. SHIT! I hate you Alenko! Shepard looks and sees that there are files on everywhere she had been before she went through the Omega four relay. Shepard looks through them all. I wish I could have a look at his computer on board the Princeton. I guess I will have to let him take me on a tour after all.

Kaidan arrives at the place that Councilor Anderson and himself meets at when they need absolute privacy to talk. "Kaidan, How is Shepard?"Kaidan shakes his head," I don't know. She seems like she don't care anymore. I can't say that I blame her for not caring after the way everyone has treated her including myself. Especially me of all people. " Anderson places his hand on Kaidan's shoulder. " I know that we were wrong to keep you in the dark when you went to Horizon. We knew that it was the real Shepard but we needed you to confirm it one way or another. We knew that Shepard would come for you. Kaidan you are the only person we thought who would have a chance to get close enough to do a more in-depth scan. We need to shut down the Cerberus tracking signal. I think we have all the information we will need to clear her of any charges at the trail." Kaidan turns and faces Anderson," I will not let her go to jail! I will not see anyone railroad her. She is a hero. She saved everyone's butt. I should go."

On the way back to the apartment Kaidan passes by a jewelry store and he remembers that he had an order placed there before Shepard had died two years ago. He had forgot about it until now. Kaidan goes into the store to apologize and pay the man anything he owes him. As he enters the store the owner greets him."Commander Alenko, so good to see you. Is there anything I can do for you?" Kaidan rubs the back of his neck, "Well..um.. I think I owe you some creds. I am very sorry but I forgot about the order I had placed with you over two years ago." The store owner seems confused ." You say you had an order with us two years ago? Wow let me look at the books. Oh, Yes here we are. Custom order. I think we still have this piece. Let me go and see." The store owner leaves and comes back with a nice box and opens it for Alenko to see. "It's beautiful. How much do I owe you? " The store owner closes the box. "Who is the lucky person to receive the gift?"Kaidan gives an every so slight smile "I want to give it to Commander Shepard. I think she will still like it." The store keeper says, "In that case there is no charge for you. If your love can last when two people have been apart for so long and have gone through so much then this is my gift to you. Commander Shepard saved us all. I remember even if others might like for me to forget." Kaidan offers his thanks and takes his gift and heads back to the apartment. I wonder what Shepard has been up to.

When Kaidan enters the apartment he is meet by a very mad Shepard. "Kaidan you are a low down scum bag! How dare you! You hugged me on Horizon just so you could do a scan on me. You then leave and tell me I am a traitor. On your way to the Citadel when you find out the results of your scan you then send me an email. If that isn't enough Anderson then has you going around to everywhere I have been spying on what I was doing. Why? I just want the truth."

Kaidan replies, "I guess you have been doing some spying yourself. Snooping through my files. If you have been through my files then you know I was doing my job. Shepard, I believed that you were dead and dead is dead. I didn't want someone or something to take the place of my Shepard. I loved you. Now that I know you are you and not something else. I still love you. I always will love you. Not something that I thought was Shepard. Don't you understand that? I love you. I am so sorry for not believing you. I want you to love me as much as I still love you."

Shepard sitting down on the floor pulling her knees up and hanging her head down."Kaidan, I am sorry I died. I didn't mean to die and leave you alone. I do understand what you must of thought of me when you seen me. I was so alone and no one was there for me. The others believed me but not you. The others came with me but not you. I respected your decision but I was so alone. I.. love you Kaidan and I don't want to be alone again."

Kaidan goes over to pick her up from the floor and this time there is no Joker to interfere with their kiss or so they think. The computer beeps with a message. They both pull apart and laugh. Everything will be just like old times. Their love is strong and they will survive.

The trial comes and Commander Shepard is exonerated of all charges. She is given back her Alliance commission and the Council welcomes her back.

The Rachni Queen feels Shepard's and Kaidan's new song and is at peace and will await their call of help. Mordin found a way to have the homing signal of Cerberus destroyed.

All of the crew from Shepards ship and Kaidan's ship gathers together to celebrate with Kaidan and Shepard before having to go back and finish preparing for the Reapers coming.

Back in the apartment Kaidan gives Shepard his gift. Shepard opens the box. "It is beautiful. Thank you. I love it. When did you get this for me?" Kaidan rubs the back of his neck," I had this made for you over two years ago to show you how much I loved you then. How much I love you now. It tells our love story."

Shepard takes out the charm necklace and looks at all of the charms on it. There is the charm of the old Normandy, Eden Prime, the Citadel, Therum ,Noveria, Feros, Virmire, Ashley, and Ilos.

Shepard takes it out of the box and hands the charm necklace to Kaidan to help her fasten it. "I think you may owe me some more charms don't you? You are a little bit behind in our love affair" Kaidan turns her around and kisses her and picks her up to take her to bed. "How about a baby charm? I'll get you more charms. I don't ever plan on leaving your side again and you better not leave me again."

Kaidan places her on the bed, he undresses her and Shepard undresses Kaidan the long time of wanting and needing each other is over in there is nothing left but their all consuming passion of love making. The Reapers can wait for a short time.

The End


End file.
